I had known my girlfriend for about two years, and we had been together for about one. I was trying my best to be a good boyfriend, but there was always something uncomfortable between us. I often felt lonely. Sometimes I felt that I did not really know her, and that she did not really know me. I tried to make her happy, but it never seemed to be enough.
There were small things that made me feel shut out. We could not even manage to hold hands. When she took a phone call from a friend or family member, she did not want me to know about it, or sometimes did not let me know. I spent a lot of money buying gifts, tickets to music stores, and everything I thought she liked. But when she received them, she was not happy. There was no smile on her face, sometimes no emotion at all. I would look at her and feel that I was doing my best, but it still was not enough.
I felt like a soldier on the ring, standing for a long time. I had reached the last moment of struggling to stand there. I imagined turning around, leaving, and never coming back. Maybe I should leave. I do not know whether I am giving up on her or on the version of the relationship I kept trying to reach. I only know that I am tired of standing there and waiting for my effort to become enough.
I had known my girlfriend for about two years, and we had been together for about one. I was trying my best to be a good boyfriend, but there was always something uncomfortable between us. I often felt lonely. Sometimes I felt that I did not really know her, and that she did not really know me. I tried to make her happy, but it never seemed to be enough.
There were small things that made me feel shut out. We could not even manage to hold hands. When she took a phone call from a friend or family member, she did not want me to know about it, or sometimes did not let me know. I spent a lot of money buying gifts, tickets to music stores, and everything I thought she liked. But when she received them, she was not happy. There was no smile on her face, sometimes no emotion at all. I would look at her and feel that I was doing my best, but it still was not enough.
I felt like a soldier on the ring, standing for a long time. I had reached the last moment of struggling to stand there. I imagined turning around, leaving, and never coming back. Maybe I should leave. I do not know whether I am giving up on her or on the version of the relationship I kept trying to reach. I only know that I am tired of standing there and waiting for my effort to become enough.
