I once spoke with an investor while trying to raise funding. They had reached out first, saying they were interested in what we were building, so I went into the conversation expecting some kind of exchange. But no matter what I said, they would answer my questions seriously and then stop. They never asked me anything in return.
I realized pretty quickly that they were not actually interested in me or what we were doing. If I am interested in someone, it is hard for me not to ask questions—to understand their thoughts, their details, the way they see things. In a conversation like fundraising, both sides are supposed to be learning about each other. If someone shows no curiosity at all, even after initiating contact, that usually means the interest has disappeared or was never really there.
But I do not think the rule applies to every relationship. When I was much younger, I was with someone who was very quiet and reserved. She rarely asked about other people, but over the years we spent together, I came to understand that her feelings ran deep. I learned that from her behavior, not from the questions she asked when we first met. So I still look at the person’s character. If someone is normally expressive and engaged but has no desire to ask about you, I think it is fair to draw a conclusion. If they are naturally silent and private, you cannot judge them so quickly.
I once spoke with an investor while trying to raise funding. They had reached out first, saying they were interested in what we were building, so I went into the conversation expecting some kind of exchange. But no matter what I said, they would answer my questions seriously and then stop. They never asked me anything in return.
I realized pretty quickly that they were not actually interested in me or what we were doing. If I am interested in someone, it is hard for me not to ask questions—to understand their thoughts, their details, the way they see things. In a conversation like fundraising, both sides are supposed to be learning about each other. If someone shows no curiosity at all, even after initiating contact, that usually means the interest has disappeared or was never really there.
But I do not think the rule applies to every relationship. When I was much younger, I was with someone who was very quiet and reserved. She rarely asked about other people, but over the years we spent together, I came to understand that her feelings ran deep. I learned that from her behavior, not from the questions she asked when we first met. So I still look at the person’s character. If someone is normally expressive and engaged but has no desire to ask about you, I think it is fair to draw a conclusion. If they are naturally silent and private, you cannot judge them so quickly.
