Maybe once a month, somebody asks if I have siblings. Last week it was a woman who had just started on my team. We were getting coffee, having completely normal small talk, and she asked, “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” There was a pause while I decided, and then I said no. We moved on to something else, and everything was fine.
I have said yes before. Then they ask what my brother does, and I have to lie about something else. So I have landed on no because it is shorter. He is alive. As far as I know, he is doing fine, and I hear occasional news through a relative. I am grateful for that. We have not spoken in three years.
Not speaking to him was my decision. I made it on purpose, after a long time of not making it. My husband, my mother eventually, and the group I was going to all agreed that it was the right thing—that this was what protecting my daughter looked like. I still think they were right.
I know all the language for this. I can talk about boundaries, detaching with love, and not shielding someone from consequences. I can say it all correctly. But none of it covers the part where somebody asks if I have siblings and I say no.
Maybe once a month, somebody asks if I have siblings. Last week it was a woman who had just started on my team. We were getting coffee, having completely normal small talk, and she asked, “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” There was a pause while I decided, and then I said no. We moved on to something else, and everything was fine.
I have said yes before. Then they ask what my brother does, and I have to lie about something else. So I have landed on no because it is shorter. He is alive. As far as I know, he is doing fine, and I hear occasional news through a relative. I am grateful for that. We have not spoken in three years.
Not speaking to him was my decision. I made it on purpose, after a long time of not making it. My husband, my mother eventually, and the group I was going to all agreed that it was the right thing—that this was what protecting my daughter looked like. I still think they were right.
I know all the language for this. I can talk about boundaries, detaching with love, and not shielding someone from consequences. I can say it all correctly. But none of it covers the part where somebody asks if I have siblings and I say no.
