When we first started sending our sixteen-month-old son to daycare, my wife and I were anxious. He had spent almost his entire life with only the two of us, so we worried he would not be comfortable leaving his parents. On the short drive there, we were both tense, imagining how difficult it might be for him—and for us.
He cried when we left him. As we handed him to the teacher, though, she said, “Let’s make this short. I’ll take him. No problem. Don’t worry.” Her experience was that stretching out the goodbye makes it harder for everyone. The child may actually be okay, she explained, and the parents’ difficulty can affect him too. I began to see daycare differently: not only as a separation, but as a place where he could learn to be part of a group with other children. Parents will always support their children, but we are not the major players in every part of their lives. Much of the world they grow into will be made of peers, friends, colleagues, and relationships with people their own age. He was not used to that yet, but he needed the chance to become used to it.
When we first started sending our sixteen-month-old son to daycare, my wife and I were anxious. He had spent almost his entire life with only the two of us, so we worried he would not be comfortable leaving his parents. On the short drive there, we were both tense, imagining how difficult it might be for him—and for us.
He cried when we left him. As we handed him to the teacher, though, she said, “Let’s make this short. I’ll take him. No problem. Don’t worry.” Her experience was that stretching out the goodbye makes it harder for everyone. The child may actually be okay, she explained, and the parents’ difficulty can affect him too. I began to see daycare differently: not only as a separation, but as a place where he could learn to be part of a group with other children. Parents will always support their children, but we are not the major players in every part of their lives. Much of the world they grow into will be made of peers, friends, colleagues, and relationships with people their own age. He was not used to that yet, but he needed the chance to become used to it.
